


Winning the Break Up

by completelyhopeless



Series: Darcy and the Hood [5]
Category: DCU, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Comment Fic, Community: comment_fic, Crack, F/M, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-12
Updated: 2015-01-12
Packaged: 2018-03-07 06:39:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3165071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/completelyhopeless/pseuds/completelyhopeless
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The third meeting of Jason and Darcy, how they officially became a couple.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Winning the Break Up

**Author's Note:**

> For the prompt: _[Any, Any, (+44): He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.](http://comment-fic.livejournal.com/529857.html?thread=75985601#t75985601)_
> 
> I saw this prompt and wanted to do it, but I didn't have anyone to do it with.
> 
> Not until I started writing Jason/Darcy, that was.

* * *

“Why are all men jerks?” Darcy asked, lifting up a shot glass and turning it over in her hand. “Or from another planet?”

“Darcy,” Jane began, but Darcy just shook her head. She couldn't offer advice about other fish in the sea or anything like that. She got gods interested in her even after running them over with a truck. What did Darcy get? Jerks like the one who was already acting like an elected official and screwing his way through everyone in the poli sci department. If they'd discussed having an open relationship, it might have been different, but he'd pretended they were exclusive, and that pissed her off.

“Do not tell me I'll find someone else because I know I will. I just want it to be when I can still rub that jerk's face in it,” Darcy muttered, picking up another shot and tossing it back. “That is the only thing I want before we head off to wherever it is we're going for your research thingy.”

“The only thing? Because as I remember it, you like tasing and want to get rid of masks.”

Darcy dropped the shot glass, whirling around on the bar stool. “You.”

“Me,” the guy in the red mask said. “Should I buy you a drink or just let you tase me?”

“Darcy,” Jane hissed behind her, but she shoved her hands off as she slid off her stool, getting close to the guy in the mask.

“Are you seriously offering to _let_ me tase you?”

“Any time you want.”

“You are a masochist.”

He shrugged. “Maybe. Or maybe crazy just attracts crazy. Remember when we first met and you had that hat and the footie pajamas?”

She blushed. “Yeah, I do. I was kind of drunk.”

“You were kind of cute.”

“Yeah, well, not sure I can say the same about you since I still haven't been able to get that mask off of you.”

“You owe me a lap dance.”

“You know, Lewis, it's kind of sad that the only guy you can get is a freak in a mask. Guess it works when you can't see his face, right? Too bad he still has to see yours, right?” Stewart said, his arm around the shoulder of some bleach blonde with fake tits.

“Don't make me tase you,” she told him. “I totally will. Just ask this guy.”

“It's kind of hot,” Mask said, putting an arm around her shoulder. He leaned into her ear. “I could shoot him. Wouldn't bother me.”

“Not necessary. Just grab a bottle of something and we'll see about that lap dance.”

“Sure,” he said, letting go of her. He dropped a bill on the bar, grabbed a bottle of rum and came back to her. The bartender started to say something, looked at his mask and the bill and shook his head. Darcy smiled. This guy was kind of handy to have around.

And he _liked_ being tased.

“I'm Darcy.”

“Nice name,” he said, “Most people call me Red Hood.”

“Do I get your other name when I get the mask off?”

“Sure.”

“Then what are we waiting for?”

“Darcy!” Jane cried out, pushing past Stewart to get closer to them. Jane was sweet, but she really didn't need to worry. Sure, Red Hood was crazy and dangerous, but there was something about him that she liked in spite of the way they met and the weirdness of everything. If Jane could hang out with gods, then Darcy could have a guy in a mask.

“Don't worry. I've got my taser. I'll be fine.”

He picked her up and threw her over his shoulder, and she swore he was drinking from the bottle even though he had the mask on. This guy was _awesome._

“I'm winning the break up!” She called back to Stewart, waving to Jane as Hood carried her outside the bar.


End file.
